Discipline-Freedom within boundaries

Tobey has been testing his "boundaries" with us for a couple of weeks now. Not physical boundaries, but boundaries relating to what he can or can't do. As cute as he might be, at times he really can be the tyrant of the house who loves to test our nerves. The elders (hence wiser ones) would say "boys will always be boys", but I see no reason why we can't curb the extremes and set him up with nice set of "rules" that will prove beneficial for him in the next chapters of his life (in school setting, in playgrounds, etc). As absurd as it sounds, this impressionable little boy really yearns to know his boundaries, so that he can confidently dwell and grow within those walls, both physically and cognitively.

As parents we now go by the mantra of "be kind yet firm" and we very consciously on a daily basis make the effort to ensure that we give the correct response to his undesirable actions. And it's been so difficult, as our natural response is to laugh at his antics (any antics, bad or good) and hug and kiss him as if condoning such actions, just because his every new action still seems awesome to us, be it good or bad.

Examples:

1) I love lying beside him when he falls asleep for the night. But at times, he would refuse to go to bed and decides to walk back and forth the bed, throw his soft toy off the bed before asking me to pick it up only to be thrown down again. Sometimes, I would be there in his room persuading him to go to sleep for up to an hour (when he finally tires himself out)! So one night, after 20 minutes of pure defiance, I just tucked him in, kissed him goodnight and told him I love him and exited the room. He went to sleep without protest.

Observation: So here, he was testing what I would do if he carries on playing on the bed as long as he can and he found out that I would exit after 20 minutes.

2) During rough play with daddy, he would sometimes raise his voice "commanding" his best friend daddy to the tone of "chase me faster!" or "Why are you not doing what I want you to do!" So SK will just ignore those bad manners and will only resume play when he behaves himself again.

Observation: In this instance, he learned that he cannot be rude to daddy, even though daddy plays the same toys and agree to his game plans (e.g: daddy chase him with the vacuum cleaner toy whilst he runaway with the walker).

I just hope we can do right by him in every way. There's really more than "Parenthood" than just hugs and kisses.