Week 21 and counting.....

I am on week 21 of my pregnancy. Little foetus is actually not so little anymore. He is about 10 ½ inches in length. We went for our mid-pregnancy scan last week and we saw a lot! For one, he has a big head. Hopefully he’ll turn into a great thinker, or even a great philosopher like Socrates.

Little Socrates has been kicking mummy a lot lately. I got a feeling, he kicks when he is protesting against something he doesn’t like, e.g. being hungry, being out in the cold (even though he is wrapped up warmly in his amniotic sac, he still could sense the temperature change outside of mummy), or when mummy is having one of those hormonal nightmares which caused her blood pressure to soar to an uncomfortable level. Talking about dreams, I have been dreaming every single night. Dreams that were most vivid and seemed so real! The other day, I dreamt of my hubby’s ex and I could even see the colour of her eye shadow in my dream! I read that each dream actually manifest an inner fear within the pregnant woman. Got to admit, I have tonnes. The mother of all fear is of course for the health of my baby. Although the hospitals gave me and baby a clean bill of health (thank God for that) so far, I can’t help but to find something to worry about (i.e. whether I would be depriving my baby by just getting a cot which is 10 cm shorter in length and width compared to a cot bed which has no future use as a single bed for us whatsoever, as it’s more sensible to get a proper single bed, whether I am reading enough on breast feeding and all sorts). Some experienced mum said that it’s all part of my ‘nesting’ instinct. Why can’t I just resolve that by just buying and storing a tonne of disposable nappies (a close friend of mine did that) and be happy about it. No, my ‘nesting’ instincts need to come in all shapes and sizes, which caused me endless headaches.

I worry about my changing appearance a lot. Not that I am putting on a lot of weight, but I don’t feel like the most attractive woman either. It’s just a frightful feeling to know that there will be more changes to come and nothing you can do to stop it happening. It’s like God saying to me “listen lady, you want the baby, something has to give, in this case, your waistline and heels. Oh, of course, some varicose vein, stretch marks, sore boobs, cravings for food you can’t have (pineapple, sushi, banana leaf rice), ‘roller-coaster’ like emotions and sore back to complete the package”. Seriously, I have dreamt of glorious authentic Malaysian hawker fare more than once. I am now contemplating on taking my maternity leave early, and fly home to Malaysia just to eat to my heart content. This bloody country has so little to offer my pregnant taste buds. My ever-protruding baby bump is quite a load to carry around, not only I now have to stand further away from the sink whilst washing dishes, sleeping on my back (my fav position) is almost not possible, I could feel the baby moving under the constraint of space, can’t bear the guilt, hence have to sleep on my sides which is so uncomfortable. SK also made a joke that I am now walking like a penguin and that it’s a tough act to follow. Wait, wait till I assign him to empty the nappy bin daily.

Then again, I’ll have to be the responsible mummy and save the money up for little Socrates future. I can’t wait to see him. In fact, I’ll give anything to speed this pregnancy up. Even labour pain won’t stop me.